Survival of the Fittest – RTOM Artists Relive Their Gig Nightmares
By Michael Molenda
From a bandmate not bothering to show up, to exploding amps, transportation breakdowns, and other calamities, most musicians have collected their own little portfolios of tour misfortunes. It doesn’t matter if you’re performing in small local venues or traveling across the country, a gig nightmare can strike at any time. BEWARE.
While some players appear to remain cool and collected during a complete catastrophe, others might rampage like an enraged Hulk when confronted with an unforeseen mishap. I witnessed a guitarist go ballistic because one of his effects stopped working during a sound
While some players appear to remain cool and collected during a complete catastrophe, others might rampage like an enraged Hulk when confronted with an unforeseen mishap. I witnessed a guitarist go ballistic because one of his effects stopped working during a soundcheck, and he ultimately kicked his entire pedalboard off stage and three rows into the (fortunately) empty seats. This was a player with hundreds of shows’ worth of experience, which illustrates that a gig nightmare can unhinge anyone from a musician stepping onstage for their very first time to a seasoned professional.
Of course, you can’t prepare for the unknown, but you can guard against show disruptions by planning for potential disasters. Guitarists and bassists, for example, should always have a spare instrument—or, at least, extra strings—at the ready. (Sadly, some stringed players never learn this simple bummer-avoidance hack.) Likewise, I once saved a punctured snare head at a shared backline show by plopping down a Moongel damper pad over the tear. Voila! The head felt fine when played, and the snare sound appeared unchanged. But there are times when a quick fix simply isn’t in the cards…
About the Artists
Keeping cool during an epic fail isn’t easy, so we thought it would be instructive to bring on a small roundtable of RTOM artists to share their experiences with gig nightmares, as well as detail how they tried to recover from the debacles. But first, let’s get a little background on our “nightmare” team and learn about which RTOM products serve them best.
Camellia Akhamie Kies
- Corpus Christi, Texas
- Musical Affiliation: Solo artist.
- Favorite Drummer: Nate Smith.
- Favorite Musical Artist: Bob Marley.
- Favorite Album: 50 Years of Funk & Soul: Live at the Fox Theater, Tower of Power.
- Favorite Quote: “Don’t Stop Believing.“
- Find Me: akhamie.com, Akhamie Music (FB and Twitter), @akhamiemusic (IG), cami.akhamie (TikTok).
Aaron Smith
- Cleveland, Ohio
- Musical Affiliation: Independent, Tina Karol, The Williams Singers.
- Favorite Drummers: Thomas Pridgen, Dave Weckl, Steve Gadd, Dennis Chambers.
- Favorite Musical Artists: B Slade, Moonchild.
- Favorite Album: 765, The Aaron Smith Experience.
- Favorite Quote: “Excuses are tools used by the minds of the incompetent to build monuments of nothingness. Those who use them seldom amount to anything.”
- Find Me: @AaronSmith (FB) @aaronsmithexp (Twitter), @AaronSmithExperience (IG), @AaronSmithExperience (TikTok). @AaronSmithExperience (YouTube)
Migdalia van der Hoven
- London, United Kingdom
- Musical Affiliation: The Migdalia van der Hoven Quartet, SIX The musical.
- Favorite Drummers: Vinnie Colaiuta, David Garibaldi.
- Favorite Musical Artist: Diana Krall.
- Favorite Album: 50 Years of Funk & Soul: Live at the Fox Theater, Tower of Power.
- Favorite Quote: “When words fail, music speaks.”
- Find Me: migdaliavanderhoven.com, @migdaliavanderhoven (IG) @migdaliavanderhoven (FB). @migdaliavanderhoven (YouTube)
RTOM Favorites
Van der Hoven: I use almost everything RTOM makes—Moongel Damper Pads, the Black Hole Practice System, and the Moongel Workout Pad—but the Black Holes are a real lifesaver. I live in a small flat in London, and during the lockdown, I managed to keep practicing and working, thanks to RTOM. The MoonGel Workout Pad is amazing for building stamina and stick control. I take it with me on tour, and I use it for warm ups and general practice.
Kies: Moongel Damper Pads are so necessary. If there is a tiny ring on the heads, or if I need to clean up a sound, I just put those on there. Works like magic. I love the MoonGel Workout Pad for a good warmup before I play drums, and I love LV Mesh Heads for quiet drumming.
Smith: Moongels help me sound the best. I use them on everything including cymbals. I’ve loved MoonGels since I was a little kid, so it’s kind of nostalgic having those blue gels on my drums and cymbals.
Dealing with Gig Nightmares
What was your most significant or scary gig nightmare?
Smith: I was doing a tour with a gospel group in 2013, and after the last performance, the promoter told us one of the artists on the bill had stolen all of the money from that night. So, the entire band only made about $100, when each musician was expecting $500 from the show. We were entirely blindsided with him stealing the money and disappearing. We thought we could trust everyone to do things with integrity.
Kies: It was during my first gig while touring with the U.S. Navy 7th Fleet Band based out of Yokosuka, Japan. We were doing a show at a mall in Manila, Philippines, and we had just finished “Sing, Sing, Sing (With a Swing).” I turned my sheet music to the next song, “Georgia On My Mind,” counted it off, and no one played. I looked over at the trumpets, and I counted off the song again. One trumpet player started to play. My friend Katie looks over at me and says, “Cami, the next song up is ‘Sway.'” It was a nightmare counting off the wrong song not once, but twice.
Van der Hoven: This was quite recently. Half of my quartet caught a tummy bug—including me—which started acting up 30 minutes before a show. There were people already at the club, so we were obliged to go ahead with the gig. We actually changed the setlist in order to play several songs as a trio, so whoever needed to go to the toilet was able to do so during or in between songs. We were feeling absolutely fine before the gig, and then it all went south. Upon arriving at the venue, the band members who were able made their way to the stage with whatever gear they could carry. The rest of us were passed out in the car, trying to muster the energy to get out. It was quite apparent the club owner was not expecting the band to be in such a state.
Were you able to obscure or recover from the incident?
Smith: No. We weren’t able to recover the money. I was only 20 years old, and I had to come home and explain to my mother why I was broke.
Kies: There was no way to recover. I had a triplet solo leading into the trumpet part, so it was clear something was wrong when no one played.
Van der Hoven: It was near impossible to obscure the state the band was in. We looked pretty disheveled. We tried to downplay how we were feeling during introductions, but during breaks, we devoured energy drinks to give us that caffeine and sugar boost in order to survive our taxing sets. The image of band members sprawled out on the floor and sofas in the green room is still very fresh in my memory.
Any tips for drummers who may be faced with their own gig nightmares someday?
Smith: My tip for musicians, in general, is to always get everything in writing upfront. Get a deposit before you play, or have a contract written out, so you can avoid being taken advantage of.
Kies: It’s important to verify the setlist. My nightmare could have been avoided if I had double-checked the song order.
Van der Hoven: This is not a cost-effective option, but it would have helped to do what ABBA did for its ABBA Voyage residency in London. Spend four years in R&D and invest 140 million pounds in cutting-edge technology to produce avatars of yourself who can stand in for you at gigs. Or, you can just try your best when you’re ill, or cancel the show.
